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(updated blog articles have been moved to Medium - see my Free Writings
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Wrong Choices

Line from the 2014 movie The Equalizer with Denzel Washington

"Sometimes we make the wrong choices to get to the right place"


Fact:  Passed by Congress June 4, 1919, and ratified on August 18, 1920, the 19th amendment granted the right to vote for all women and guaranteed all American women the right to vote.


It took a heck of a long time and a lot of choosing and making the wrong decisions before getting to the right place for women. And we're still fighting. Always have and we always will. Doesn't seem right, does it, for things to be so hard, unfair, and prejudiced. Women still rank highest in receiving domestic violence, salaries for women are unequal with men, and though we've come a long way since the dawn of time, there are still many areas of inequality we must fight against and learn how to do better for ourselves and how not to accept these inequalities for a lifetime.


Can you think of a wrong choice you made and got to the right place? I've questioned the marriage choices I made yet I did get to the right place. I always wanted children. I never saw myself without them. I have two beautiful grownup children from my first marriage. And my second marriage, (what was I thinking? brain freeze) I remember wanting to live by the shore, and though that marriage broke up while living there, I did get to live near the ocean only minutes away. And afterwards I took up exercising and lost fifty pounds and went back to school to earn a college degree. And loving someone other than yourself is never a bad idea and it lasts as long as there's genuine love, trust remains, and you're not in danger.


When it comes to children the right place lasts always. There's nothing better than having that privilege to nurture and protect children and teens at every stage until they can make their own lives. We can learn much from them and vice versa, of course. For me there's never a doubt in that area.


We all make mistakes and I read once that mistakes are only information. We learn, we grow. We can set aside regrets when we realize that we've just been informed.


Depending what the wrong choice is or was or maybe it was a poor choice, sometimes it doesn't always turn in the right direction and may take a long time to do so. I think we all know that. But even if that choice brought us misery or misfortune, it's best to remember we can always pick ourselves up and start over. You can begin again no matter your age. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to know how to steer to find the best way out. One step in the right direction no matter how small will get you there. And my heart believes anyone can find it.


Comments are always appreciated. Keep reading, keep writing, keep believing, keep searching, and keep trying. Thanks for visiting. 


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Two Movie Quotes

In the movie Lost In Translation, Bill Murray's character states, "The more you know who you are and what you want, the less you let things upset you."


I believe most of us can say we are lost at times, or moments. Whatever is spinning in our heads that may resemble worrying about something or about all the things we have to do, whether we're thinking about the past or the future, or we're just not understanding what the other is saying and maybe we're overthinking a situation, all these alert us that we've departed from the present and we're taking a side trip. I've been guilty of all of the above.  


The more we know who we are – when I think how to do this, it seems to me we'd have to sit down and take some alone time with ourselves to reflect or work out possible solutions to any problems we may have. If one session doesn't do it to clear things up, then we can revisit it at another time, or we might have to talk it over with someone we trust. The least we can do is take the time to venture out of all the side trips maybe taken while driving or doing schoolwork, while working, and so on. We can make a mental note saving it for later or you might try writing it down if possible, but not while driving. It's definitely not safe then. Also, I like the ideas of trying something new, spending time with others familiar and unfamiliar, and just taking a break from the usual to get to know ourselves better. It's a journey of good risks and putting focus where we're happiest. If you like or love to write or read, there's plenty here on my website to help move you forward and keep you in the present. It's been said that every book read changes us.


Knowing what you want – that's just as big of a challenge, if not harder. Maybe for some it's easy, but I don't know many that find it so. But if we spent time knowing who we are and what we want, we wouldn't have time to let things upset us, so the script says. I think that script says something important for all of us to try or think about.


In conclusion, I like what Garfield, the cat, says in Garfield: The Movie, whose voice was portrayed by Bill Murray, "just another splattered bug on the windshield of my life." I often think of this quote when troubled which makes me smile. It's one way to stay in the present and be less upset or bothered.


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Here are some quotes I noted about hope from movies:


Bunraker 2010

Love is temporary (Woody Harrelson's part)

Hope is eternal


There is no hope (Josh Hartnett's part)

Life is a circle


Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear. (President Snow in Hunger Games 2012)

A little hope is effective, a lot of hope is dangerous. A spark is fine, as long as it's contained.


Losing all hope was freedom. (Fight Club 1999)


I believe hope springs from the heart. It comes with the word "maybe." It lives and breathes whether you are at the top of the mountain or at the bottom. If you have never run into it, felt it, or come across hope, it's most likely fear or other dark feeling sitting on it. If we can say maybe it will, what if, or it could be, we become brave enough to hope and not give up.


There are many stories about people who have been given terminal diagnoses and lived; people that turned failures into successes. Many have defied the odds. Harrison Ford was told he didn't have what it takes to be a movie star – he was a carpenter. Boy, they were definitely wrong. Helen Keller quoted, "Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." She was the first deaf-blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree, an American author, political activist, and lecturer.


Hope is life and losing fear is freedom. I have to agree that it's eternal, it's strong, but losing it would be death. Life is a combination of hopes and dreams and reality. It's important to be in the present and keep our hopes and dreams intact while we do our thing.


Maybe you'd like to leave a comment. I hope you do.

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Notable Words

I love to collect quotes or pieces from books or movies that strike me at the moment. It's the expectation of opening an envelope and seeing what's inside, or it tickles your fancy in some way, and mostly it's memorable leaving its mark. It's been said that every novel read changes you and some parts stick and you find yourself tagged for the moment immersed in a meaning or feeling.


From A Ghost A Witch and a Goblin by Scholastic Book Services, illustrated by Rosiland Fry, 1970: The Good Aunt says to her niece "Because you are so brave and so good, you will be stronger than all the wicked creatures you may meet." From Baba Yaga – a Russian witch story.


This gives me a dose of courage every time it's remembered, a feeling of being safe. At first, I thought about how I might have been good throughout my life, but brave was new to me. I've taken good and bad risks and remembered having courage once in my life when I removed myself from a very long standing marriage. Love had disappeared, and I couldn't continue to live without it. I struggled, like being caught in a vat of taffy not able to move, afraid to get out and not knowing how to. That fear to make a change sat on my courage that was always there waiting to open the door to a happier and better life. I knew a powerfully deep peace I've never felt before after my decision. When my sister-in-law told me that doing so took much courage, I realized I must have the courage she was talking about which never really dawned on me that I was courageous until that moment. So, when I read this line from the story, it gives me a lift inside and reminds me of the good done in my life and where I was brave. I'm not afraid like before, knowing I've learned to trust myself a little more without thinking that I'll fall backwards, realizing that I can make better choices in life. I am reminded to question whether something's good for me and whether a risk is a good one or too risky, surrounding myself in that light and in the light of forgiveness that this story line incurs. I love that it's a challenge to strive for goodness, to be brave, and promises a reward.


Even if you are a young adult or in college and you may have had to get out of situations not best for you, or you needed to move away from danger or from friends not suited for you who may be troublesome or might pressure you into doing something you know isn't right or don't want to do, by tuning into your feelings in these situations and what you're sensing that doesn't feel right, you can begin to trust yourself learning that walking away is not so bad. And if it is, you can and should reach out for help.


And remember that all acts of courage are heroic. Each act is neither big nor small. There's nothing small about courage in any way. Like in the saying it's all good, it's all brave. And courage is the rarest of gifts. And anything so rare, is huge.


I hope this piece of the Baba Yaga story reminds you of your goodness and bravery and that you come to treasure it as much as I do.


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